Wisen up…Muna Khan
MY social media timeline was recently filled with images of Bollywood actors Zeenat Aman and Rekha on the covers of Vogue India and Arabia, respectively. Folks gushed at how incredible the women looked at their age 71 and 69, respectively. I couldnt help but feel the praise was filled with a dash of disbelief; that they could be this age and still look good. Its indicative of how society expects women to age, but also a reminder that women tend to get erased from screens post 50, so seeing them slay (slang for impressing) is cause for celebration.
I dont mean to be cynical here. Aman joining Instagram has been one of the best things to happen on social media. She says her children had been telling her to join Instagram because she loves writing, and while she wondered, isnt this a young persons game, she caved. This isnt a comeback, but it is something of a coming around, she wrote in a post.
I believe Aman has a much higher rate of engagement than the current lot of leading Bollywood actors because her content is real. Whether its sharing stories about working in the 1970s, or about adopting dogs and then resharing other peoples pictures shes not shilling products, projects or plasticity. There was far more interest in my face and figure than there ever was in my intellect, she wrote in Vogue. This is one reason that I have loved ageing it has evened the scales.
Rekha, who has not accepted any role since 2014, said of her Vogue shoot that I am amazed at what one photoshoot can do, but I also realise that the success of it has to come from a deep place of honesty, pure intentions, originality, and consistency, every step of the way.
An older womans worth is still tied to her youthful appearance.
Their words are resonating across ages.
Over in the West, media entrepreneur Martha Stewart became the oldest model at 81 to appear on the cover of a Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. Seinfeld alum Julia Louis Dreyfuss podcast Wiser than Me, a series of interviews with acclaimed older women in the arts, has featured on the best podcast lists so far this year. The publishing world has woken up to unpublished women aged 60, who are now at a premium wrote the Guardian.
While Im happy to see progress since Susan Sontag wrote about the double standards of ageing in 1972, Im also a little cautious. An instrument of oppression, wrote Sontag, is the social convention that ageing enhances a man but progressively destroys a woman. Women must destroy that convention to liberate themselves.
While I laud Aman for doing just that, Im concerned that an older womans worth is still tied to her youthful appearance. I worry the celebration is a trend for the sake of representation or inclusivity to sell magazines, books, movies, etc. No real change can come about if capitalism gets its hands on it. There was a time, not too long ago, when people didnt record birth dates; growing older wasnt about clinging onto youth at whatever cost.
I look forward to the older women moment hitting Pakistans shores and screens, provided its organic and not sponsored by the very industry that creates unrealistic standards. Im hopeful. There was an outpouring of support for actors Samina Ahmed and Manzar Sehbai when they married in 2020, and I would love for it to translate to watching dramas where older women are in charge of their lives; ie, not dependent on men. There was that TV commercial for a mattress in 2020 which showed adult children marrying their mother off which was different to the usual hysteria around anything related to a womans choice.
I believe its a womans choice not to care or conform that rankles people. As they do grow older and more mature in their careers, [women] lose some of the fear of speaking their mind. And certain men dont like that, said gender equality researcher Amy Diehl in a report for Harvard Business Review in June. Misogyny happens at every stage of a womans career, the authors found. Women under 40 in the study saw their experience and credibility dismissed because of their age, while women between 40 and 60 continued to experience gendered ageism, too, they wrote.
I understand the pressure to look youthful is no longer limited to people in the entertainment industry. My friends recently recounted how regular folks are being advised to get fillers sooner than later, as if ageing is a terrible fate. Its not. Women have other choices, wrote Sontag. They can let themselves age naturally and without embarrassment, actively protesting and disobeying the conventions that stem from this societys double standard about aging Women should allow their faces to show the lives they have lived. Women should tell the truth.
Courtesy Dawn